10 Creative Diabetes-Related Expletives To Try When Paying For Medication

Daily life with diabetes may be tough, but you’re making it work. You know that keeping up a good attitude is a key, so you try to see the glass half full.

But then you got to the pharmacy to pick up insulin, or Metformin, or ketone strips or what have you, and you find that the prices have gone up AGAIN! Or perhaps you get a judgmental look from the person who serves you, or maybe your co-pay feels a lot more like an all-pay. And you just can’t find the right words to express how frustrated you feel…

So we’ve come up with some ideas. Granted, these may be a little strange and a bit cheesy, but hopefully they’ll make you smile! Try one of these 10 diabetes-themed zingers the next time you need to let off some steam at the pharmacy!

1. “Well butter my butt and call my hyperglycemic!”

Depending on where you live, your pharmacist may have heard the old southern phrase, “butter my butt and call me a biscuit.” Even then, I suspect your new diabetes twist on the idiom will throw them off for at least the rest of their shift. This one is best delivered in a southern accent right after they ring you up—bonus points if you hold a handkerchief to your heart in horror.

2. “Holy Bolus, Batman! Good thing we don’t need money in our bank accounts!”

Rate hike? Deliver this exclamation with the most 1960’s camp you can muster.

3. “Sufferin’ Sucrolose!”

You have to say this in the voice of Sylvester the Cat. Otherwise you’ll just look ridiculous.

4. “Well I guess the honeymoon phase is over!”

If you have type 1 diabetes, you are probably familiar with the honeymoon phase when your pancreas is on the fritz but hasn’t quite given out (perhaps like your health insurance plan). It’s perhaps a little less obviously diabetes-related, but you’ll know you’re being hilarious.

5. “You make me feel so low…”

Say this despondently as you slowly accept your fast-acting insulin or Metformin.

6. “Just call me Sir Lancet-Alot!”

That’s pretty cheesy… let’s move on.

7. “Great balls of Glucose!”

Throw your hands up when you see the price of your supplies. We recommend, “those syringes better be gold-plated!” as follow up.

8. “God willin’ and the sugar don’t rise.”

Use this after someone tells you to have a nice day. This is a great one for when you’re feeling folksy!

9. “Insulin resistance… it’s futile.”

For the Star Trek fans out there.

10. “This is amazing! This pumps insulin into my body by sucking money from my wallet!”

Act as if you’ve never seen an insulin pump before. If you’re really ready to commit, ask if next time you can just jump money into the pump rather than make the trip to the pharmacy.

What do you think? Too cheesy? We hope at least one of these made you smile. Let us know if you have any other ideas. Stay healthy, friends!

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Katie Taylor started writing in 5th grade and hasn't stopped since. Her favorite place to pen a phrase is in front of her fireplace with a cup of tea, but she's been known to write in parking lots on the backs of old receipts if necessary. She and her husband live cozily in the Pacific Northwest enjoying rainy days and Netflix.