Which is more important, photos or health?
Ridiculous question. But some people are so obsessed with perfection that they don’t mind sacrificing the health of a loved one in order to have perfect wedding photos.
The Original Poster is one of her sister’s bridesmaids and, like everyone else in their family, is very excited about the upcoming event! She wishes her sister the best of everything and lasting happiness with the love of her life.
But she didn’t expect that her medical condition would cause trouble for her sister, who wanted everything to be perfect on her wedding day. It also broke her heart when she realized that both her sister and mother didn’t care about her as much as she did.
Here is OP’s story under the username u/DiabeticBridesmaid, which was published on Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum: “My sister is getting married next weekend, and I’m a bridesmaid. I’m a Type 1 Diabetic, and I wear two medical devices, a Dexcom blood sugar monitor on one arm and an Omnipod insulin pump on the other. They’re both really small (under two in. ea.) and work together to automatically monitor and regulate my blood sugar levels. This basically means I don’t have to prick my fingers to test blood sugar or give myself insulin injections; the system does that automatically and makes my life way easier.”
When did the problem start? It was during the day when they were fitting the dresses to be worn at her sister’s nuptials. Her sister turned to her and told OP that she wanted her to remove her medical devices on her wedding day. That was because they would look ugly in a sleeveless bridesmaid gown.
Of course, OP had to protest since the medical devices were essential to safeguard her life and there was no way she would sacrifice her health just for photos.
But it appeared that there were a lot of narrow-minded people in their family and circle of friends. OP wrote, “My sister complained to our mother and some of our friends, and they’re all taking her side. They say it’s no big deal if I just don’t wear them during the wedding, but I don’t see why I should. Mom suggested I could move them to my stomach, but I’ve tried that before and found it incredibly uncomfortable. When I put a new sensor on, I’m stuck with it for ten days until it expires and I can switch to a new one, and I don’t want to be stuck with one on my stomach, where it will bother me the entire time.”
And yet, that explanation didn’t suffice for OP’s sister, mom, and friends. They didn’t think removing her medical devices for photo ops would affect her health at all. Didn’t she want to look as attractive as everyone else in the wedding pictures?
Being ganged up on, OP started to feel uncertain. Was she really being unreasonable for rejecting their suggestion?
Well, OP found real friends in the AITA community who all supported her for wanting to protect her health. Some advised her not to attend the wedding anymore, while others who have the same condition as OP shared tips on how she could wear rhinestones and other decorative stuff to hide her medical devices.
And further good news for OP! She wrote in her update: “Oh my gosh, thank you so much to everyone for the responses! I didn’t expect this post to blow up the way it did at all. So I have an update for everyone. I didn’t want to involve others, hoping to settle this between myself and my mom/sister, but my brother got wind of what happened last night and absolutely tore my mom and sister a new one about how hurtful it was to suggest I go without my devices just for her wedding photos.
“He then told my grandfather, who is paying for the wedding. Grandpa apparently drove an hour into town this afternoon just to tell my mother how disappointed he was and that he must have gone wrong somewhere raising her. He told her that if they didn’t apologize and make things right, my mom should figure out how to pay for all of the outstanding wedding costs herself (!!). Now I do think this was a bit extreme – I wasn’t looking to cause this much trouble for my mom and sister – but it seems to have worked because they called me to apologize and say it was wrong of them to suggest I just go without my monitor and pump and we can find a way to dress it up instead.
“I accepted their apologies. We decided to try wearing flower corsages over each device so they can’t be seen. If that doesn’t work, we can try a shawl as many of you suggested. Again, thank you all for the support! I’ll be giving my grandpa a big hug and buying my little brother dinner tonight as a thank you for having my back on this. Maybe it seems minor to some, but it was really upsetting to me that my own family turned on me when it came to my own health, so it was a really big deal to me that they unconditionally supported me when my mom and sister wouldn’t.”Whizzco